Since young, I have always dreamt of opening a cafe. My cafe will be one that sells the most fanciful cakes, the prettiest tarts, and the most decadent desserts...Preferably, my cafe will be built within a garden, surrounded by fresh blooms and soothing scenaries..

It will have such good ambience that a guy can bring his girlfriend there for a romantic light snack after dinner, a bunch of girls can do some "catching-ups" with one another over their delightful smoothies during weekends, tai-tais can enjoy their warm lattes after their manicure sessions, the busiest businesswomen can calm herself with a cup of chai tea while overlooking the garden, and the girl just out of love can quietly savour her bitter-sweet mocha while her equally bitter-sweet memories run through her mind..

Apart from the ambience, the cakes and desserts that are served will be made from the freshest and richest ingredients. I will never scrimp on the quality of the ingredients. I will also put in my outmost effort in decorating the cakes, so that all girls wouldn't even bear to slide their forks through them..The menu will be ever-changing too, perharps, according to the different series that I will set..

For example, in the Fruit & Flower series, diners can expect to see lavender cakes, orange madeleines, raspberry-liquor chocolate cakes, rose tea and other fruit teas in the menu..

In the Princess series, the menu would be filled with recipes like the marshmallow cakes, Caramel Cupcakes, light buttery sponge cakes with the prettiest frosting, bite-size strawberry shortcakes as well as butterscotch milkshakes and honey tea..The dining set will be in sweet, pastel colours too..

In the Zen series, recipes like the chilled green tea mousse cake, japanese washi cake, mochi dessert, Chai Tea as well as Sake will fill up the menu. When the cakes are served, they will sit on top of delicate rice papers, in a long rectangular plate..with little frosted tealight holders..

I don't usually crave for cakes, neither am I particularly interested in starting my own business..Thus I cannot explain my desire to start a cafe in future..However, I often find myself staring into bakeries and cake shops just to look at the cakes on display.. In the book stores, I'll fish out the cake recipe books just to look at those pictures..During my free time, I'll pick up my colour pencils just to draw cakes and desserts, as well as design menus for my cafe, uniforms for my cafe staffs, and even a blueprint on how my cafe's interior and exterior will look like. When I'm with Feng, chatting, I'll suddenly say something like, "You will have to open a cafe/bakery for me in future.." Perharps my dream will come true, Perharps I'll grow out of it one day, Perharps..., Perharps....

Perharps, I was a strawberry shortcake in my past life...........

No more late-night MSN sessions, no more breakfast at 4pm, no more casual clothings or weekend shopping......I finally started working. No boring admin work for me or taking part in tedious commercial shoots. With zero experience, I jumped straight into the retail line. A job that I've never imagined myself to be in. The long retail hours, the troublesome customers, pressing sales targets and burned weekends add up to be a terrible nightmare for me. However, just for the fun of it, I applied for the job. And got it.

Contrary to what I thought, the job turned out to be fun and rewarding. I tended to a small beauty counter all by myself.
A typical work day starts like this: Fetching water in a small pail to clean the counter top, rearranging the products, stock taking and reporting of sales figure, doing demos for customers, paper-work and perharps, stoning during weekday mornings.

I always had this assumption that Singaporeans are a difficult bunch of people to serve. However, most of my customers doesn't fall in this category. They are genuinely interested in hearing what I've got to say, ask intelligent questions, and some even spoke to me as if we were friends already. After closing the deal, they'd asked for my number so as to keep in contact. It's rather fun meeting and talking to so many people from all walks of life...Of course, I've met my fair share of weird people too! As one of my products contains pearl powder, one lady asked me how we managed to extract pearls from oysters. She even asked me if we rare those oysters ourselves..(???) Another lady specially bought many small containers so that I can fill them up with my foaming cleansers, exfoliators and moisturisers that I use for display purposes, since we do not provide samples.

Apart from meeting so many customers, I met many fellow promoters too. Therefore, I'd help myself to numerous free sprays of fragrances at the fragrance counters, touch ups from the cosmetics counters, and staff discounts for bags. It'll be Lacoste perfume for one day, Escada or Versace on the others. If I feel that my store is stuffy, those fragrances will become my air-fresheners..As for my own products, the foaming cleanser act as a hand wash for me, and the moisturiser ($105) is used as my hand & nail lotion..Right now, I can also differentiate the different uniforms of cosmetics companies. Shu Uemura is white and grey, Estee is dark blue, Chanel is black, Paul & Joe is green, Clarins is white and red, BioTherm is white, Givenchy and Clinique is black and white, Laneige is light blue and white....etc etc..I can also tell you which company has the prettiest girls, the normal looking girls as well as the ugliest girls..I managed to take note of the above when I'm feeling damn bo-liao..

Back to my own sales record, it stands at $11,200 in about 3 weeks. I'm happy. I'm proud. I have proven to myself that I can do things that I always thought I couldn't. I thought that I could not handle tough customers. I thought that I wouldn't do well in sales. I thought that I cannot convince them. I thought that I'll put my personal feelings into work especially when I meet rude customers. I thought that I'll die if I were to work during weekends. I thought my soles would give way if I were to stand for about 8 hours a day in my heels. I thought I wouldn't smile the whole day at strangers. I was wrong. I was wrong in a good way. Good thing I got them all wrong.

Last sunday, just before work, I heard a slogan from the radio. I felt that i'm quite "ke lian" after hearing it--- " We are working because you are not." A few days later, I felt that it's worth it when my customer told me she liked how I patiently explain everything to her without being pushy. This I have to admit. I put in my best when serving everyone that comes to my counter. Even though they specify to me that they only want to know more about my products, not to buy them. Even though they are just asking for directions...Job satisfaction definitely worth more than my salary..

Last but not least, I have to thank and apologise toFeng. Thanks for always meeting me for lunch, popping by my counter and bringing me home from work everyday. Sorry for leaving you alone during the weekends..However, this will end soon..Since I'm giving myself 7 days of leave before school reopens. I'm not looking forward to going back to school though..Boring.. rush to school just to wait for the time to rush home..

Anyway, I guess almost all of my salary would be gone by then..but I'm sure that the experiences and satisfaction that I have gained will be worth much much more...

Look around you while shopping for that nice pair of shoes, while eating at nearby hawker centers, or while rushing to pick up your little sister from kindergarden......, and, count the number of retarted idiots who walked around you with their collars up.

Idiots. I shall classify them into the following groups:

1) People who are so easily influenced, they just have to follow what the other idiots are
doing. Even when they don't make any sense. Followers.

2) People who are so blind they think they look damn good with their collars up.

3) People who are so stupid they think collars are meant to be up.

4) People who want to act cool, but end up looking dumb.

5) People who want to imagine that they are actually vampires, or, the god/goddess of
gamblers.

6) People who are very afraid of the cold, especially the neck area.

7) People who just want to appear as retards to entertain others.

8) People who just have bad dress sense.

Idiots, collars are meant to be folded, you see...It doesnt make you look more suave. So, wake up your idea!!! Doing this doesnt make you look like Beckham. It just make you look like a dumb child who has no one to teach you how to wear your shirt properly. Shame on you.

On the 5th June 2005, the day of my 21st birthday, I wrote the following passage on a blank piece of paper. It was 5.10am. I don't have a blog at that time..thus, I always pen down my feelings on papers I can find around my room..here it goes...

MY 21st BIRTHDAY

The journey to adulthood hasn't been an easy and smooth sailing one. It has its fair share of ups and downs. Most of the time, its filled with sadness, anger, fear, depression, resentments and tears, as well as countless conflicts with the people around you. Everything you do seems wrong and invites controversy just because you are assumed to be a minor..

Now that I've reached another stage of my life, I must try to come to terms with all imperfections of the world, of life, and of people. Not all hopes and dreams become a reality, but I hope that I'll be contented with the things that I have..

I have to say that at 21, I am looking forward to a marraige life already. That seems to be the most wonderful thing---love. Love sustains life and keeps you going even at the most difficult times. I've found my true love, my future husband. Today, at 12 midnight, he presents a cake named "chocolate addiction" from NYDC. He sings me a sweet birthday song, and presents me with a 0.14 carat diamond ring, the hearts and arrows version, complete with a certificate of authencity and a special viewer to view the diamond. All this happen in a romantic wine bar by the sea, overseeing the night skyline of Singapore. He told me the ring is our "prior-engagement" ring. I can't find any word to describe my feelings..

He told me the significance of the ring while i sipped on my chocolate martini. A strong, almost on the rock concoction, with a tinge of cocoa powder round the rim of the martini glass. I love it--strong alcohol running down my throat.. I'm the most fortunate girl in the world, as far as I know..The 1st time a guy presents me a real diamond ring in an exquisite box, on my important birthday, talking to me about the wonderful life that we are going to lead together..omg, I'm only 21 with such wonderful things happening to me..I just can't stop smiling..

May this wonderful start to my adulthood brings me great things in my life-- happiness, peace, joy, love, romance, serenity and laughter. So glad to know that my future husband treats me so well. He makes me feel important, loved, special and treasured. He told me a few days ago that my name is "precious"..What else can I ask for? May my life be glorious, sparkling, shining and shimmery!

On the 5th June 2006, the day of my 22nd birthday, I spent the first half of the day working. A few years ago, I would have taken leave. However, this thought didn't cross my mind this year. In fact, I feel rather grown-up, almost sophisticated, knowing that I am willing to work on my birthday..

After work, Feng showed up. He was in a formal shirt, pants and leather shoes..carrying lotsa things in his hands. We went back to the same wine bar again. This time, while looking at the night view, I got a little surprise. Three waiters appear with my cake, complete with candles..They were all trying to prevent the strong wind from blowing the fire away. I feel so touched. Again, Feng sang me my birthday song, and present me my presents. They are from Guess? and Shu Uemura. Just the things I always wanted..The cake is the BEST I've ever tasted-- Boo Boo from NYDC. The shooting stars in the night sky is definitely a bonus. Again, I feel that I'm the most fortunate girl. As long as I have you, Feng, to sing a birthday song to me on my birthday, I feel fortunate already. No birthday bash or party...just you, and me, to complete my birthday. A romantic birthday.

I felt the familiar sensation again..This time, it's damn strong..I want it badly..I'm craving for it... The rich, creamy, wickedly-sinfully deliciously sweet devilish-food....CHOCOLATES!! This time, its not the usual chocolates that you can buy off the shelves of chocolate boutiques or candy empire...I'm craving for fried chocolates.

Feng and I went all the way down to buy it..Deep-fried Mars Chocolates!!! Can you imagine it? Hot, crispy batter with the half melted Mars chocolates inside. Those caramels...those nougat fillings..Bite into the batter, and the chocolate goo explodes into your mouth..I have eaten lots of Mars chocolate bars in my life..The normal ones as well as the ice cream version..Fried ones? I've got to try it! Just thinking of it makes me drool....

The long queue did not deter us. We patiently wait for our turn. I felt kind of weird when I repeat my order to the server. "Fried Mars bar with vanilla ice-cream." Then, I stepped back with a tinge of embarrasment. ( I don't know why, I can't explain. I wanna giggle abit at that moment. Gd thing Feng is next to me. If not, I'll be mistaken as a "xiao char bor")
When I finally held the bowl of fried chocolates with vanilla ice-cream in my hands, I felt as if i'm a small girl..( You know, wanting something so badly, then, finally having it in your hands?) It felt warm and cold...And to be truthful, it looks like "sai"...delicious "sai"..

Feng and I sat on a pink bench..We ponder for a moment who should taste it first. Feng volunteered. I fed him. It must be the weirdest kind of food I have ever fed him. Almost immediately, I pop one into my mouth, after staring at it for a second..

Verdict: When I first bite into it, my brain register it as Fish & Chips. Then, I tasted the familiar Mars Chocolate that is half melted. As usual, the chocolate goo got stuck in my teeth. Feng commented that he can feel the oil in the batter. Me too. Fried flour with chocolates and oil and ice cream. Not too bad.. the hot and cold sensation is shiok, sending pangs to my sensitive teeth.. If you feel that it's disgusting, don't. Let me put it this way:
Imagine eating Fish & Chips, then, reaching out for your chocolate ice cream. That's it. (Anyway, all of us don't brush our teeth after eating our main course what..we just proceed to enjoy our desserts..)
Overall, I told Feng I award them 3 out of 5 stars. He agreed that they would fare better with a thinner batter, and better drainage of the oil. We both agree to eat it again if we ever pass by the shop, and the queue is short.

My craving is not satisfied yet. We went to coffee-bean for ice-blended white chocolate and a warm mud pie. That's when I felt a sense of satisfaction..then, chocolate-overload..I told myself to stop, before i get into a fit. This kind of indulgence is damn bad for health..and figure..
Until my next craving for the devilish food, I swear i'll drink lotsa water..and, in the meantime, do some research for the best chocolate buffet in town!